Merrell Down & Dirty: National Mud Run Series 2011

The Starting Line

I didn't run this one. Every time I was asked to join in all the reindeer games, I sorta shrugged my shoulders and simply stated "eh, I'd rather not.", which was met with a disappointed look of bemused frustration. "You're a runner, right?" I could almost hear echoing through a megaphone of sheer telepathy that nearly had me recoiling in shame. I am a runner, but a 5k or 10k race with obstacles including mud, walls, pits, & potentially fire seems to invoke the flight instinct, on the fight or flight spectrum, whenever the idea tickled my medulla oblongata. Honestly though, besides the fact I don't enjoy getting dirty, I had one specific reason why I didn't want to run through a Double Dare-esque obstacle course, and it wasn't Marc Summers, it was the fact that I was worried about the risk of a game ending injury 3 weeks into my marathon training schedule. If not for my training mode mentality, I may very well have been more malleable in forming a participatory shape.

Unlike me, my friend Pete was more than eager to take on the mud run. I tagged along as a supportive force, even though that that meant forcing myself out of bed at 5:30am on Sunday morning. We arrived at Fairmount Park in good time, even including the quickie stop to grab coffee along the way. Though it was a sold out event, the registration line was basically non-existent. Pete had his packet of race supplies in his hand and ready to go in a measly matter of minutes. There was nothing left to do but wait...

Onto the race...



...and wait we did. The 10K runners were sent out first, and it became apparent that they were staggering the starting line in a very peculiar way. Every 4 minutes, an allotted corral of contestants would be let loose on the course. This made the morning minutes drip by like sap slipping slowly down the bark on the back of an Ent tree. Pete was anxious to get going, but the going wasn't getting gone anytime soon. We sought shade, and stayed away from activity for as long as we could, until it was his time to line up. The worst part of this wait was the ever present "meat cloud" of steam rolling off the BBQ grill's lined up in the expo area. It seemed as if no matter where we chose to go, it would change direction and blanket our vicinity with a ham-handed humid meat-mist. I'm really not sure what type of runner would be eating BBQ at 7:30am right before their race, but they were preparing enough of it to feed all the carnivorous creatures at the Zoo, which is conveniently located right down the street. So maybe that was the plan?

We saw next to nothing from the 10K race until about 43 minutes later when the announcer proclaimed the first of the finishers was making his way around the course into the final obstacle area. While he was climbing a rope to make his way over a slanted wall, something very exciting happened, a second runner appeared out of nowhere and began climbing the wall too. The lead runner, who mere seconds ago the announcer had prematurely designated the clear winner, was now neck and neck digging through a mud pit with this would-be challenger. It was in that very mud crawl that the second runner, indeed, surpassed his competitor to take last minute lead, he slithered into first place finishing his 10km mud run with a 45:28 time. It was a fitting bout of excitement, because the 5K crowd had gathered closely to the roped off mud pit to garner pointers from their predecessors, while waiting their turn to take on the course.

A Photo Finish 10K

The 10K portion of the mud run was winding down like the Pixies's River Euphrates, and it was time for the 5K participants to queue up like they were ready for a showing of the Deathly Hallows Part II. The initial excitement for the race was waning, because the staggered starting times left the participants standing in the heat for far too long. Since Pete & I figured out the system for the 4 minute race intervals early in the game, we devised a plan that had Pete standing in the safe & comfortable shade for as long as possible before heading over to jump in with his pace group. I much rather prefer the BANG! let's all go at once stampede method. I guess they do it this way so that you're not bottlenecked with bodies at any given obstacle, but still, runners came to race, not stand in place. 

Pete finally got his time to shine and took off with his pace group. We had scoped spots of the course that looked accessible to spectators ahead of time, and I was on my way across the baseball field to meet Pete at the first area I told him I'd go to. Alas, cutting back through all the crowds behind me proved a challenge, and I got just close enough to see I had missed Pete for that portion of the course. Not wanting to miss out on the second checkpoint, I started jogging back across the field to cut him off. With my camera in hand, two backpacks slung over my shoulders, and Vans on my feet, I found myself running my own race, and the muscle memory of the movement in that moment struck me with an urge to actually run the real race, but unfortunately, I had to resist as I resigned to the position of being merely a spectator.

The effort was a success, and I made it to the wall obstacle with plenty of time to spare. Pete passed, and I greeted him with shouts & shutter snaps, then went off to the water pit to wait for him to make it back towards the finishing area. This section of the race was when the runners were taken Over the River and Through the Woods, so it was impossible for anyone to witness what went on there. I did notice a strange overlap that was taking place at a second tall wall obstacle just before the water pit: some 10k runners were still active on the course. They were required to scale a tall wall, that the 5k runners were waved passed. I suppose it makes sense that a race twice as long would have a variety of additional feats to perform along the way, but it was just odd how it occupied the same space, rather than setting up said obstacles in the areas that went beyond the 5k kids, thereby keeping clear of course confliction. Most likely, they just didn't have the space to safely erect the wall anywhere else along the way.

Merrell's Military Mud Man

The last (less than a) quarter mile was open to the public, so I saw Pete finish the race by crawling through that same mud pit we had witnessed those 10k runners battle it out in before. They really do save the dirtiest segment for last, because even though the people emerging from the woods weren't clean, per se, they certainly weren't caked like devil's food until this final crawl. All in all, it was an interesting race to witness. Runners were handed water after crossing the finish line, and with gleeful smiles stood for filthy photos while wearing their mud battered attire proudly. Pete looked as if someone had just saved him from quicksand at the last minute, or possible a Big Friendly Giant had dipped him in chocolate fondue, but ultimately decided not to eat him. Mud runners were then directed to a washing station, which simply consisted of hosing yourself down with water from several waiting tanker trucks. It was approaching 10am by the time we made our way back to the parking lot, and because of the staggering start times, we had to cross a still active portion of the course. I wasn't actually aware I was in the way until a horde of runners came rolling like thunder towards us. A quick spin move put me out of harms way, and placed us one step closer to getting home.